This blog is, and always has been, entirely for sale

Hello world. And by "world", I mean the one or perhaps two of you who are negligent enough to have left this blog in your RSS feed. Perhaps you've done so out of affection for yours truly; perhaps you have thousands of atrophied blogs in your Google Reader roll that you can't bother to sort; or maybe you're my stalker, and you make a nightly habit of pouring over these old entries in a dimly lit freight container down by the docks, burning eye holes in photos of me with a lit cigarette.

Whatever the reason, I'm disturbed by you. You shouldn't be here. There are more enriching ways to spend your time. Perhaps you're a candidate for tropical fish ownership. It's not much more exciting than checking in on once-a-year-updates on an obscure blog, but at least you'll have something to show girls when you bring them to your room.


See, almost completely worthless.

Since you are here, and apparently have decided to wage on beyond the barrage of verbal assaults I'm both writing and thinking right now, I can only assume you're considering the purchase of BowlofGranola.com. What a shrewd business person you are. What a captain of industry. You, much like a distant past version of myself, have recognized the potential for profit in owning such a URL, and you are to be commended for your acumen.

You should know that when I got in to the blogging game, I did not do so for frivolous reasons. Much like a prospector recognizes the financial potential in the hills of old timey California, I began this endeavor with comical cartoon dollar signs dancing around my head to a cacophony of cash register noises.



Now that I have achieved all of my financial goals and am posting this from my 100-foot yacht with a customized, stem-cell-infused, Rhino ivory hull, I am ready to pass along this incomparable financial boon to you. Think of all you could do with BowlofGranola.com. You could start a nutrition website. You could start a website that sells bowls. The possibilities are literally endless.

If you are a smart, attractive, business-savvy individual with above average prowess in the bedroom, then you're the perfect candidate to own this url. Contact buythisurl@bowlofgranola.com today to start your new life. You won't be sorry you did!*

* BowlofGranola.com is not responsible for the remorse you will ultimately experience from purchase. We are also not responsible for any financial ruin, personal unhappiness, or general life-ruining that results from this sale.