So, it being nearly a year since my last post, I thought I'd drop back in and say hello.
I bring you today, a delightful song parody written by yours truly.
This was inspired by a post on a gaming forum I frequent titled "The Day Games Died". It got stuck in my head and resulted in the following:
A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How my XBOX used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my way
I could play most every day.
And, maybe, I’d be happy for a while.
But three red rings, they wrecked my morning,
Crashed my rig and gave no warning.
Those little lights were once green,
Now I'm staring at a blank screen.
Now, I can’t remember if I cried
When Master Chief's death was implied,
But something touched me deep inside
The day my XBOX died.
Oh why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
My warrantee expired last July.
Did you play Oblivion,
And shoot-off fireballs just for fun,
Or was your character melee?
Or do you excel at C.O.D.,
And let grenades fly far and free,
With enough kills for a thousand UAVs?
Well, I thought that I should try a Wii
or just go get a PS3.
But I just bought a year of Live,
They pressured me to subscribe.
Now I'll spend way more than a buck
To fix this deluge of bad luck.
Damn, the whole world sure did suck,
The day my XBOX died.
I started singin’,
Why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
My warrantee expired last July.
Now for one month I was on my own
While I just sat there and bitched and moaned,
Cause' that's just how it had to be.
While the techies solder, prod and poke,
Laughing at this cosmic joke.
Cause' my fee, it pays their salary.
Oh and while my three-sixty was down,
I was the saddest kid in town.
I had just bought GTA,
but had no means to play!
And while my friend edits his avatar,
and a "Hero" played his fake guitar,
All I had was NPR,
The day my XBOX died.
We were singing,
Why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
My warrantee expired last July.
Smackdown, Crackdown I'll just have to back down,
Fallout will wait while I sit with a slacked frown,
Watching my XBOX gather dust.
I'll no longer be Left 4 Dead,
Only slaughter zombies in my head,
While the Gears of War will slowly start to rust.
Now instead of playing Bioshock,
I'm stuck here staring at the clock.
No genes around to splice,
Or junkies to freeze in ice!
So The Big Daddies are forced to yield,
And the doors to Rapture all are sealed.
My low HP just can't be healed,
The day my XBOX died.
We were singing,
Why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
My warrantee expired last July.
Oh, once we were all in one place,
Connected through cyberspace
Sporting censored gamertags.
So come on: Microsoft please fix it quick!
Don't drag your ass and act like pricks.
Because Sony and Nintendo can contend.
Oh, but hey that looks like UPS!
With a package for my stoop to bless.
Was that just my doorbell?
Oh god, I'm through this hell!
As I swung the door with sheer delight,
I stumbled on a loathsome sight
They didn't have the address right,
The day my XBOX died.
We were singing,
Why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
My warrantee expired last July.
I tried to play my PS2,
Then sit and watch some Doctor Who,
But it was just not the same.
So I went straight down to my Gamestop,
And brought some games that I could swap
But I left there empty-handed, full of shame.
And back on Live, the PWNers reveled
The children cussed and the noobies leveled,
I could not have spoken,
My XBOX still was broken.
And while the gamers I admire most
Lost connection to their host,
I went to Tweet a nasty post.
The day my XBOX died.
And they were singing,
Why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
My warrantee expired last July.
They were singing,
Why, why, did my three-sixty fry?
Lost all control of my console,
Now I just want to cry.
And I get no help from their lame tech support guy.
He says my warrantee expired last July.
9 months ago
